Every Record I Own - Day 327 Distorted Pony Instant WinnerThe first 7″ I ever purchased was...


Every Record I Own - Day 327 Distorted Pony Instant Winner

The first 7″ I ever purchased was Distorted Pony’s Concrete Bruises EP. I bought it at Jelly’s Records & Comics in Honolulu sometime back in ‘91 or ‘92. I knew nothing about the band, but their logo was like an equestrian version of the Neubauten hieroglyphic so I took the leap. My parent’s record player skipped like crazy whenever I tried playing 7″s, so I could only listen to the EP in fragments. It sounded like a huge wall of thundering guitars mixed with a clap-trap of fucked up percussion. It was mysterious, in large part because I couldn’t spin the record properly, but even the little blasts of music rattling from the speakers when the needle would catch the groove communicated some sort of monolithic darkness. I was a fan without even hearing an entire song.

I eventually got my own functional turntable, and a few years later I picked up Distorted Pony’s posthumous sophomore LP, Instant Winner. It’s a harrowing record full of chunky bass lines, drum machine throb, scrapyard clatter, and guitars like a rain of concrete. If you ever found yourself searching for something like Big Black but a bit less pointed and more apocalyptic, Distorted Pony is worth investigating.

My favorite memory associated with this record was from my junior year of college. I’d brought this LP along with a stack of other records down to the campus radio station for my weekly show. I checked my station mailbox before going into the DJ booth, and a secret admirer had left a My Little Pony doll with a note written on it in my box. I started off the show with the first track off Instant Winner, announcing that it was Distorted Pony over the mic. To be honest, I had planned to start the show with the song before getting the note, but it wound up that this secret admirer (who would eventually become my boyfriend, and now my husband) was thrilled that I acknowledged his gift through my opening song selection. 

Thank you, Distorted Pony, for helping bring my husband and I together.